Cutesypah's Corner

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Mr Right & I talk about everything. He reads all the blogs I follow, and we discuss the ideas presented, as well as my responses to those blogs. And, we've talked about slavery, and his role in our relationship, whether he is Master, Owner, Dominant, or HOH.

Once upon a time, I considered myself a slave. I did this because I wanted the release of responsibility, to not have to think after a long hard day at work. but I didn't have a man who was mentally and emotionally strong enough to dominate me, and capable of handling the responsibility needed to control and satisfy me. I needed an emotional rock, a man who was completely responsible for running his own life, for having a career, and running his own household without me.

The two men I chose before I met Mr Right were not sufficiently competent at meeting those requisites I mentioned. and, truth be told, my career and my duty as a parent is such that I cannot be a slave, and give up all my rights. I respect my own accomplishments far too much to allow another to take credit for or ignore what it took for me to be where I am today. I am no longer satisfied or interested in being property.

as for my submission, this, too, varies on a daily basis. I know, in my heart, I always have the right to say "no" to Mr Right. and, I know that most times, and most days, I never want to say "no" to Mr. Right. But, here's the kicker: he KNOWS this! and he knows that if I do say "no" it's because I really, really, don't feel well, because as I've said before, I like having sex when I'm sick. and, because Mr Mr Right believes in the idea that he may hurt me but will never "harm" me, he knows that if I'm turning down the chance at sex, it's because my fibro is acting up, and I'll tell him as much.

Mr Right only has two rules for me: I must not be unfaithful, and I must not lie to him. These are fairly straightforward easy rules to follow. My rules (yes, I have rules, too) are that he will be faithful, that he will never hit me in anger, and that he will never lie to me. Everything else simply will be handled as it comes up.

We both agree that we will never play mindgames with each other. We may role-play, or tease each other, but if one or both of us ever questions the other's pov, or get his/her feelings hurt, we immediately call a "time out" to talk about it - NOW. Otherwise, the rule is that things we say and do as they reference each other are said in love, and are to tease and play. Basically, we want our lives together to be filled with love, and lust, and to have fun, to enjoy each other. We want each other to be deliriously happy, and satiated by our life together.

I believe that our relationship, if it must be labeled and/or defined, falls somewhere in the midst of D/s, Taken in Hand, and Domestic Discipline. We are committed to each other, and to US. Our relationship is an US, a WE kinda thing. And there's no real label for that anywhere that I've found. I guess you could call it "haute couture," or a private designer label. yeah, that's a fitting label for US. It's OUR relationship, and it works for US.

There is no removing of a collar, although I mentally have one, with plans to find a real one, and a bracelet for him. Why a bracelet for him? Because he realizes that he is bound to me by holding the chain that hangs around my neck. He wants something to wear that allows me to realize he, too, honors our commitment. And when it comes time to acknowledge our relationship and commitment in the 'nilla world, there will be rings, and no removal of those, except to sleep and take a shower, or for safety reasons. There is no release, other than that from orgasms.

If one of our rules noted above are broken, even then, there is no guarantee or agreement that our relationship ends. We have made a lifetime commitment to each other. And, we chose to make that commitment. We see this type of commitment like we are family of choice, but family nonetheless, that you don't simply release because it's permanent. And, trust me, with knowing all the people we do who have divorced, being divorced myself, and being a divorce lawyer, Mr Right and I take this type of commitment VERY seriously. it IS binding, and carries with it great responsibility and effort, and with untold rewards far greater than we could ever imagine.

So, knowing all this, we both think we are so extremely lucky that we've each found a partner who understands US. After all these years of his being single, or for me, being in unsatisfying relationships, and my being told that there is no one out there for me, we both feel so blessed to have found each other. seriously, finding the One who knows, accepts, and enjoys your kinks, who knows accepts and loves you, exactly as you are, who yearns to know more about you, who wants to grow and expand together, and who wants nothing more than your happiness? Even lottery winners and celebrities don't have it this good!

I posted much of this same remark on Sir J's blog, in response to his most recent post "Rain Rain Go Away." Because my post turned into a rant, which details my very convoluted and crabby state of mind, I decided to post it here.
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As a Taoist, I must say that there cannot be sun without rain, dark without light, day without night, good without evil, happiness without sorrow. To every action there is a reaction. Simple, logical and powerful.

And there cannot be a Dominant without a submissive. Yin and Yang.

And, yes, it takes many things for one to be a submissive. I am demanding, and in so being, I understand when something is demanded of me. I expect my directions to be followed, and so, I understand when I am to follow directions. I demand to be respected, and understand when respect is demanded of me.

But, do NOT for a minute interpret my submission as weakness. It takes great strength and resolve for me to submit, and is expected. But, for those of us who are high maintenance, it feels like work, and we wonder if our efforts are appreciated. I can understand how Dominants can feel the same - lots of work to keep us satisfied with sometimes so little appreciation shown for the Dominant's efforts.

It must be balanced, all work and no play makes Jack and Jill fussy, unhappy, and feeling unappreciated.

It's all about balance, and moderation in all things, including moderation.

It's hard to remember to appreciate the sun when it's 100 degrees in the shade, and our electricity bill is through the roof. At the same time, it's hard to appreciate the rain when it's flooded our basement, mold is growing on the walls, and we would die for a moment of sunshine.

Yin and Yang. A delicate balance, not truly appreciated until we crave that which we do not have at our instant disposal. Instant gratification has left us a group of high-maintenance people, left unsatisfied at the first instance of boring or "ho-hum"

But don't tell me what I want to hear, and then be surprised when I ask you to act in line with your words. Don't be surprised when you know I'm a woman of my word, and demand that you be a person your word as well.

And, don't be surprised when I call a "time out" on my submission, and demand to be heard as an equal, as a partner, as a person, as a professional, intelligent, licensed, and at the top of her field.

and don't you DARE question my demand to be heard as a parent, first and foremost, in assuring my young teenage daughter has a happy, stress-free, household, for I've done a DAMN good job of raising her, and I'm not going to stop doing that now because I'm a submissive.

So, I finally admit it: I'm high-maintenance, and I deserve to be treated with kid gloves. I've spent my time in the ring duking it out with my former partners. Now is MY time to be placed on the pedestal.

I like the view.