Cutesypah's Corner

It's pouring rain outside. I want to be snuggled under the covers with Mr Right while the rain splatters on the concrete under the window. but, instead, I'm on the couch writing this instead of getting ready for work.

Mr Right and I had a wonderful trip to the beach, and are getting ready to leave again for my son's Air Force basic training graduation on Wednesday.

And, we continue to get closer, and the bond becomes stronger between us every day. we've talked of marriage, of planning a wedding, and combining our households. but, it's not official. no proposal, but I'm told it's coming. I'm so excited that I could run screaming down the street, "He loves me! He loves me!! He loves me!!!" and I don't run. Ever. *laughs*

To top it all off? To make things even better? We had anal sex on Saturday night. Our first time together. I love anal sex. It's an amazing, intimate experience that I've shared with two people before Mr Right. He had anal sex before, but it wasn't memorable, because his partners weren't really into it. So, together, for us, it was incredibly intimate, and built an even stronger level of trust between us.

Anal sex, for me, requires lots of lube, lots of deep breathing, and lots of focus on relaxation. I have always controlled the initial penetration because I didn't trust my partner not to hurt me. I've always sat on my partner's lap, facing him, knees bent, my thighs outside his, and simply lowered myself onto his cock. I couldn't manage that this time, so I let Mr Right penetrate me, first from behind, and then I was on my back, legs raised, as he pushed inside me. He was so very gentle, and tender, and was thrilled that I trusted him so completely.

When it was apparent he wasn't going to cum that way, and my body was aching from fatigue, we stopped, and just rested in each other's arms. The only time I ever felt closer to a human being was when my children were born, and again, as they were so tiny, and held onto me for love and comfort. It was one of those moments that I will carry with me for a lifetime - the realization that I belong, that I matter, and that someone has penetrated my internal walls, and he will not abuse the trust I have placed in him.

With Mr Right, there are no doubts, no nagging fears, no wishes that this or that were different. I don't remember feeling like this about anyone before. Yes, I've been head over heels in love, or so I thought. But even then, there were things about my love interest that I dreaded, or disliked, or thought I wanted to, or could, change.

This time, those fears, or nagging worries, or dislikes don't exist. And, trust me, I've looked for them, and poured through my thoughts, and impressions, and memories to find any red flags I've overlooked or ignored. There are none.

Life is good. I'm happy. I'm in love. I'm lovable. I'm loved. Life is good.

yes, it is very possible to be both. I was thinking of the phrase, "sick & tired," which is where I was but a mere five weeks ago. but "happy & tired" is much more the appropriate definition. I can't imagine being in a better place than where I am in my life right now. ok, maybe if I had enough money to buy my own island, and retire to it with only Mr Right, my daughter, my mother, and staff to care for everyone who came to visit (yes, of course I'd invite YOU, and pick you up in my personal jet), life could be better, but, otherwise, every day is like living my dream come true with Mr Right in my life.

Mr Right & I have spent nearly every day together since we met four weeks ago. He was the one who told me "Happy Anniversary," last night (Tuesday), as it was four weeks ago when I asked him to dinner, and he said "yes." He admitted that before dating me, he never tracked anniversaries, nor did he truly understand the importance of recognizing them. With me, he says anniversaries are important, and have great meaning. He also reminded me that Friday it will be an entire month since our first dinner together. How sweet is that?!

I can't believe it's only been four weeks because it just feels so right being with him. We talk, and walk, and cook, and shop, and sleep together as though we've been together for years. He is just so damned comfortable to me - in body, mind, spirit, ideas, dreams, everthing!

And, for mouse, who hates people who are always happy (giggles - i couldn't resist sweetie), we are really happy all of the time. It's sickening really, like love-sick teenagers, we are! We haven't even had a major disagreement yet. We've talked about a lot of differing opinions, as he's a conservative Republican, and I'm very liberal, and a Taoist to boot (i.e., go with the flow), but we can agree to disagree. We've had our share of deeply emotional discussions, and shed a few tears, but nothing earth-shaking. Oh, we know the disagreements are coming, but we are both amazed that neither of us have found any red flags.

And, considering we are both recovering codependents, who have had difficulty with moderation, (who am I kidding? I HAVE difficulty with moderation!!) we try very hard to keep things in balance, and in perspective.

Having said that, we have had sex every day, or even 2-3 times a day for 24 out of the 29 days we've been together. And, the sex? Amazing, mind-blowing, drench the bed orgasms this man gives me!! I've had more marks on my neck than Dracula's victims! He's given me such intense g-spot orgasms with his hands, and mixing tjat with massive amounts of nipple torture that while I was on my knees, with his fingers stroking my g-spot, my cum was literally running down his arms, and making pools of liquid on the bed. Once he pulled me on top of him, and I slid my cunt over his hard cock, my cum continued to run down his balls, and make an even bigger wet spot under his buttocks.

and the oral sex he wants is heavenly! it's nothing for me to suck on him for 20-30 minutes at a time, building up the saliva so that the spit runs from my mouth, down his balls, where he pushes my head down until my eyes run from choking on him, and I struggle to catch my breath in gasps, my throat sore and burning from his hard thrusts deeper and deeper over the back of my tongue, down my throat, causing me to gag, and swallow, as he moans his pleasure, and calls me his cunt, his pet cumslut, and his fucktoy. Just writing this makes me swollen and wet, wishing he were here to push first his fingers and then his cock deep inside my cunt.

Oh, and let's not forget the spankings where he bruised his hand, and made me fly! I had warned him about my deep subspace, as he had never experienced something like that before. I tried to keep my wits about me enough to tell him that I was going "bye bye" for a little while. He was amazed at the depth of my subspace, and was truly concerned for my well-being, staying with me at all times, kissing my cheek gently, rubbing my hair, and telling me all the while, "I'm right here, baby. You're safe with me. I'm not going to leave you." It was so touching that I cried when I came around, and regained the ability to communicate with him.

He also talked of his realization how important trust was, and how much I trust him, as he noted how easy it would be to mistreat me, and abuse me as I was so vulnerable when I was in subspace. I hugged him tightly, and told him that I did trust him, and was so thankful he appreciated my submission. It was then he told me I was his, and he was mine, and I'd never be submitting to anyone but him ever again. It made my heart leap with joy. so, yes, Vesta, I've got a "live one!" *laughing*

He truly is my Mr Right. I know that I had to experience all the others before him to learn what I wanted and needed in my life. I know that I HAD to learn that my consent is the ultimate truth, and my mental health and well-being are the most important issues. For if I don't take care of me, there will be no one to take care of my daughter.

Oh, yes, speaking of my daughter, she and Mr Right have become even better friends. I asked him to pick up my daughter after school the other day because I was taking my mother out of town to see a doctor. He picked her up, and she asked if she could hang out at his house until her dad came to get her. The two of them watched television, made snacks, and then had a rip-roaring good time picking on me once I arrived at his house. And, then Mr Right met the ex-husband, T, who immediately thought Mr Right was a great guy, especially since our little girl was singing his praises.

And, the business is going great guns! I've tripled my client list, and having more potential clients call every day. pretty soon I'm going to have to hire additional help. Mom & I just aren't going to be able to handle the load alone much longer. Plus I'm still waiting to hear if I'm going to be gaining a national client that would truly "put me on the map." Plus, I still have the option of doing some guest lectures at the community college where Mr Right works, and maybe consider a teaching position there next year.

So, know that I'm still reading all the blogs, thinking of you all, and wishing you all the best life can offer.

And, to my close & personal blog friends (you know who you are), I promise to write very soon.

Life is very, very good here in Cutesypah's corner of the world. I forgot how much fun it was to be "high" on the chemicals your body creates when you're head over heels in love, and having more sex than you've had since college. Plus, add in all the intoxicating feelings that occur as you define a new D/s relationship, and you've got a two grown adults acting like giggly, love-struck teenagers all over again.

Another spanking session with Mr Right last night left me with some new discoloration on my left side. Previously, it was more pronounced on my right side. Plus, his mouth on my cunt, licking and sucking at my clit until I soaked the bed with my cum, made the spanking all the more pleasurable. Goddess, I'd forgotten what it's like to have a man waiting, willing, and available to have me every time his heart and cock desires. I've once again become the cumslut and fucktoy I have always yearned to be.

Yet, there is so much more to our relationship than just sex, but it does fit the bill nicely. Mr Right commented that I am so much more relaxed, and balanced, since we've begun our journey together. And, yes, my codependency has retreated for now, as there is no drama, and there are no issues nor concerns that I see, or even am trying to ignore, right now. Seriously, I know when I'm ignoring the red flags, and when I'm minimizing, or justifying, or rationalizing someone's behavior. And, I'm just not finding ANYTHING with Mr Right to be concerned about.

This is so wicked good, it's scary!

Well, I spent the weekend with Mr. Right. That's what I'm calling him for now, until we come up with a better name for him. Personally, I think this name is perfect for him. I'm terrified I'm going to frighten him off because I'm falling for him so quickly. But he assures me that he's never met a woman like me, but I'm everything for which he's been searching.

The weekend was relaxing, and simple. Grilled steaks for lunch when I met his parents and nephew; bacon, eggs, and coffee for breakfast this morning, all cooked by him while I watched. He's already bought "toys," including a leather paddle for spankings. And, orgasms by the boat-loads. I'm in heaven!!!!

seriously, I can't find a single thing wrong with this guy. He's attentive, yet reserved. He's private about his kinks, and requires monogamy. He's very interested in the Taken in Hand because of that. He's reading more and more about Dominance, and is enjoying his ability to control me, with little to no effort. Because he has a life, friends and a career, he's not into micromanaging, but is very happy with the "head of household" concept. He's also very much a "nympho" like me, and in fact, I've met him thrust for thrust (for the most part), and even wore HIM out a time or two. That's funny because he's called me a "cougar" a time or two (he's five years younger), but is thrilled with having a "real woman" in touch with her body and comfortable with her sexuality. And, he's quickly admitting that he does have a sadistic streak when it comes to sex, and he's putting my colors to the test, just to see how much pain this girl can handle.

Best of all? He calls me his, and tells me that he's all mine. In not even two weeks. Hmmmm......the last time I fell this hard this fast, (even without the kink and great sex) I got married, had 2 kids, and stayed 17 years. Gosh, with no concern about kids, plus this time getting great sex, the kinks, the Dominance, and an educated man who backs up his arguments with logic and quotes Supreme Court law to me? I'm addicted, completely head over heels, falling in love, bewitched, twitterpated, and captured, hook, line & sinker.

Oh, and to add to the menu? Tantric sex. Yummy! Did I mention I think he's got that "mischievious little boy," "rugged boy next door" Matthew McConaughey look going? I'm telling you - this man looks at me with that glint in his eye, and I'm ready to peel clothes off, drop to my knees, and serve him any way he wishes.

And, the man spanks me like he's been doing this for years. I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I'm a very happy, very thankful submissive!!