and then SAD set in.....

I have seasonal affective disorder - SAD. so, in the autumn and winter, I feel horrible - depressed, moody, and lots of pain. and because I understand the Law of Attraction, and recognize how it works, when I'm down and sad, things around me do not go well, or break, or stop working. my laptop died. my sleep number bed broke. my daughter's laptop keyboard now has a broken "f" key because I was trying to remove a piece of paper stuck under it, and the plastic key cover came off and I can't get it back on.

and a judge completely ignored what I'd filed with the court (an emergency motion including physical abuse of a 12 year old by his 16 year old brother including bruises due to choking), and ordered the child back to his father. I was devastated. and to compound misery, my daughter also has SAD and has been yelling at me. plus my mom had a colonoscopy where they removed a polyp and we're waiting on results. oh yea, and Mr. Right's sick too.

could I be anymore of an "Eeyore" right now?

Air Force graduation was very good and very bad. my son graduated with honors which means you must rank in the top ten percent in all categories. But, you must also be nominated by your instructor for honors. I was SO proud, and my son looked wonderful. The bad part? My ex was there with his girlfriend who is a complete jerk, and my kids hate her, particularly my son. And my ex's parents, the ones who broke up my marriage, were there as well. I finally had a mini-hissy fit when they ran off and left me, my daughter, Mr Right & my mother wondering where they had gone, and where they were. plus, it went from 90 degrees to 60 degrees with rain, and more rain. The hotel had water standing in the hall ways. But, my son was happy to see us, and that was wonderful.

Neither of us have felt well at the same time for spanking since our return from the Air Force graduation. Although he and I both know we both could use the release, we agree that it wouldn't be prudent when I'm hurting, and he's not rested enough to monitor me closely.

The one very bright shining time in all this woe and misery? Mr. Right took me shopping for engagement and wedding rings this past weekend!!! The joke is that he's deciding how expensive I am before he decides to propose. LOL! Seriously, we had a great time looking at rings, as neither of us had ever done that before. And he was thrilled & surprised that I had no clue he was going to take me to look at rings. Although we were exhausted by the time we arrived home (it's 1.5 hours one way to a shopping mall), we had a great time learning more about our likes and how well we each work together to understand and respect our different opinions.

6 Comments so far »

  1. by mouse , on October 22, 2009 at 9:29 AM

    I think there is some of that SAD stuff going around. I'm glad you and the Mr are working through it though.

    Too bad about dealing with the ex, but truly a big whoohooo for your son graduating with honors.

    Hugs to you both,

  2. by nancy , on October 22, 2009 at 11:05 AM

    It never rains but it pours when SAD comes around.. and there isnt any reason why everything else should fall apart in the fall.. but it does in my world too.
    I'm glad you have the wonderful bright spot of shopping for rings!
    Hang in there~!~

  3. by Jz , on October 22, 2009 at 4:41 PM

    I love autumn too much to be brought down by it but don't get anywhere NEAR me in February! (Unless, maybe, if there's skating.)

    Strangely, a friend of mine recently went to a Marine Corps graduation and stayed in a soggy hotel. Must be a familial test of some sort...

  4. by Anonymous , on October 22, 2009 at 5:54 PM

    Engagement rings!! AWWWW I'm so happy for you both. That's so wonderful. Congratuations. When I was reading your earlier writings of how you felt, I had a hunch that's exactly where you were headed!! Love his sweet nature of looking together and joking about the cost again.. awwww!!!

    Get a Verilux Happy Light. They're the only ones I know of that are approved for SAD usage. They work. Need details, email me : )

    But it really sounds like with all that's been going on you'll need more than that! Maybe order "Happy Life" it's a .... just kidding but didn't it sound good? Wait you're soon to be sporting an engagement ring... you'll be fine!

    Seriously I'm so sorry for your trials. I'm especially sad for the boys going back to their dad. Hope your mom's healing well and her results are benign. KayLynn

  5. by spirited one , on October 22, 2009 at 6:27 PM

    The seasons have never affected me that way specifically, but I certainly have suffered my fair share of depression... and yeah, when it rains it seems to pour, doesn't it? I hope the clouds disperse soon in your world.


  6. by oatmeal girl , on October 27, 2009 at 5:50 PM

    RINGS?! Get a giant diamond, flood it was light, and use the reflection instead of a light box.

    I have 3 light boxes, from SunBox, which are specifically made for light therapy. I also need lots of drugs. Symptoms set in about a month early this year, due to the really sucky weather. My doctor confirmed that she had been hearing the same thing from her other patients.

    I am already somewhat unbearable.

    (I meant to put "sun box SAD" into my search engine but accidentally wrote "sub box SAD" instead. Cute slip, no?)

    Feel better, sweetie - and make sure Mr. Right understands completely about SAD so he keeps your behaviour in perspective. It's not your fault if you cry all the time and stuff your face on cookies and cheese all winter...


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