It's pouring rain outside. I want to be snuggled under the covers with Mr Right while the rain splatters on the concrete under the window. but, instead, I'm on the couch writing this instead of getting ready for work.
Mr Right and I had a wonderful trip to the beach, and are getting ready to leave again for my son's Air Force basic training graduation on Wednesday.
And, we continue to get closer, and the bond becomes stronger between us every day. we've talked of marriage, of planning a wedding, and combining our households. but, it's not official. no proposal, but I'm told it's coming. I'm so excited that I could run screaming down the street, "He loves me! He loves me!! He loves me!!!" and I don't run. Ever. *laughs*
To top it all off? To make things even better? We had anal sex on Saturday night. Our first time together. I love anal sex. It's an amazing, intimate experience that I've shared with two people before Mr Right. He had anal sex before, but it wasn't memorable, because his partners weren't really into it. So, together, for us, it was incredibly intimate, and built an even stronger level of trust between us.
Anal sex, for me, requires lots of lube, lots of deep breathing, and lots of focus on relaxation. I have always controlled the initial penetration because I didn't trust my partner not to hurt me. I've always sat on my partner's lap, facing him, knees bent, my thighs outside his, and simply lowered myself onto his cock. I couldn't manage that this time, so I let Mr Right penetrate me, first from behind, and then I was on my back, legs raised, as he pushed inside me. He was so very gentle, and tender, and was thrilled that I trusted him so completely.
When it was apparent he wasn't going to cum that way, and my body was aching from fatigue, we stopped, and just rested in each other's arms. The only time I ever felt closer to a human being was when my children were born, and again, as they were so tiny, and held onto me for love and comfort. It was one of those moments that I will carry with me for a lifetime - the realization that I belong, that I matter, and that someone has penetrated my internal walls, and he will not abuse the trust I have placed in him.
With Mr Right, there are no doubts, no nagging fears, no wishes that this or that were different. I don't remember feeling like this about anyone before. Yes, I've been head over heels in love, or so I thought. But even then, there were things about my love interest that I dreaded, or disliked, or thought I wanted to, or could, change.
This time, those fears, or nagging worries, or dislikes don't exist. And, trust me, I've looked for them, and poured through my thoughts, and impressions, and memories to find any red flags I've overlooked or ignored. There are none.
Life is good. I'm happy. I'm in love. I'm lovable. I'm loved. Life is good.